omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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