Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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