So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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