You just made me feel so damn special
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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