Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
