I must be too annoying 4 u.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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