so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
