Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
