i permit you to call me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
