I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
