I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
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Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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