Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
