plz talk dirty to me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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