you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
