The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
