I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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