You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
