just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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