I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
