So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
People in love make me want to vomit
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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