Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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