Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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