I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
