hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
