ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
