I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
