Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
