I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
