glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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