Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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