Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
