im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
my poor anus
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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