I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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