when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize