Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
