i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
