i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
