Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
