Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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