still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
