dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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