first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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