Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
