Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
