i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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