every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
this hospital has no fireball
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize