people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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