i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize