this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
