We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
