Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
