She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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