i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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