Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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