I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
