You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize