Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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