Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize