brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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