I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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