i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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